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Football, graphic design, catching kellydiles.

This section needs filled out a bit so consider this. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? A small change to something now can have massive consequences later on. So, by reading this and the rest of my profile, I've just delayed your life by 5 minutes. Well, if you weren't reading this, you'd be doing something else. So, you read this and then go to the shops. To your horror, there's a car crash up ahead. That could have been you, but because you read this it saved your life(you can thank me later). It's strange how life works. I mean, just small decisions here and there shape your life forever. You could miss the love of your life by a matter of minutes, a word spoken or not spoken. I think about this stuff a lot but the thing is, we have no control over it.

Thats just life. Thats all it is. Just roll with it and see what happens.

Man On Fire, Gladiator, Braveheart , The 'Burbs, The Negotiator, Unbreakable, Juno, Home Alone, Duel, Slumdog Millionaire, Gran Torino, Taken, The Hitcher, Anchorman, The Truman Show, 40 year old Virgin, Falling Down, Invincible, SuperBad.

If it's set in America, in the sun and during the day, I'll watch it. I'm sick of films set at night. The only horror I really like is the original Dawn of the Dead.

see my playlist thing. If you want. I mean you don't have to. Its not particularly amazing. Just if you want to see it, it's there. Maybe. Up to you really. Is it just me or is it quite a depressing playlist? It's sad. Happy profile, sad music. I like sad songs though, but to stop this playlist being depressingly depressing, any sad song is followed with happy one.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Books? What are those? Fnar, fnar. I hate it when people say that. As if it's uncool to actually read something. I like reading real life stuff. I can't really get into fiction although I'll make some exceptions if it's something really great. I don't know, I was never that great at English, so it's not like I'm clued up on Shakespeare and the like. I'm quite uncultured in this department. Never mind, I'm sure I'll survive.

Currently reading "Adventures of A Peruvian Llama Hunter: Journey to the moon" by Kly McFly. Good read. Well illustrated too.

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Nice girls with a naughty side.
Tattoo's on lower back.
Cheese.
Seductive dancing or just any dancing by girls.
KlyMcFly. She is simply "wow".

Is this the part I should just describe my perfect woman? What if I just described you? Wouldn't that freak you out? Right then. She'd probably be blonde, shorter than me (6ft), a body she's comfortable in, possibly some sort of sexual non-scottish accent, big beautiful eyes. Funny, but not Michael Jackson "funny". Someone who gets me. Gets my humour. Someone who can be silly every now and then and doesn't take life *that* seriously. Someone who you can talk to for hours but it seems like only minutes. Someone who makes me smile without ever needing to try. A girl who can somehow be both cute and sexy, at the right times. A girl who you can wake up with every morning and every day you love her more, just because she's her. Does she exist? Yes, most likely.

Should I give you a celebrity wish list? I could. Obviously it's all based on looks though. I bet they're scallywags in real life. So Rachael Taylor would be there.She's hot and cute. Alessandra Ambrosio for the whole Brazilian thing. Abbey Clancy, Una Healy, Tiffany Mulheron.

Do I have a type? Personally I don't know. I don't really care about big tits and firm asses. I can't decide between blondes and brunettes although I guess blondes just edge it. Cute blondes and sultry brunettes. There, that'll do. I'm also more turned on by women in clothes/lingerie than seeing them naked. Is that unnatural? I like a good smile. It doesn't turn me on I just like seeing one.

Hi. So have a look around if you want. What a disgusting amount of text you think to yourself. I agree. I write too much but not enough. I take ages to reply to messages and I'm so ignorant I sometimes don't reply but it's only because I don't know what to say. I don't know how to reply to someone who compliments me. I'm an idiot.

Ohhhhh, turn offs. Right well, stuff that just isn't cool.

(read this in your finest scottish accent. It adds to the effect greatly)Oh, and play REM-Shiny Happy People from my playlist above while you read.

So, In a world of patronising insincerity, it's great to be here on cybersexchat.org.

Hello. No-one says that any more do they? It's all Hey, Hi and how you doin? Well, at least it is here. I'm CreasyBear apparently. It's from one of my favourite films, CreasyBear was a bit of a legend. Thing is, I was thinking the other day that it's actualy a bit of a crap username. It sounds like "Greasy Bear", which is entirely the wrong impresssion. When I imagine someone on a cyber sex website called "Greasy Bear", I can't help but imagine some ridiculously hairy sad old sweaty unwashed man sitting in front of a computer wanking over porn. Now you have that image in your head too, don't you? Did I mention he's also a fat bastard? With glasses. Ohh, and a beard, a big paedo beard. Or maybe it sounds like "Cheesy Hair"? He's an unsavoury character who styles his hair with a comb and some nacho cheese. Thats not me though, honestly!. :D I'm from Scotland. Apparently we have nice accents but I guarantee if we were in the same room, you'd struggle to make out a word I'm saying. You'd just laugh at it probably. It's honestly not that sexy. I have an honours degree, but I'm not as smart as that makes me sound. I'm the second youngest of three and ,umm, my parents are both older. My mother left before I was born so I was raised by my father. He's schizophrenic but he's good people. Actually, I wasn't really, i just said that as a joke. Money wise I'm set for life, provided I die next tuesday. I have an aunt called Jean, who has a daughter called Jean. Her kid is also called Jean. They went to a nightclub but got refused entry.....Their footwear wasn't suitable.

I should describe myself but I can't. I mean, I could say I'm great but that would mean nothing if you never thought that. You may think I'm an ass, someone else may like me, so how do I know which is correct? I refuse to say I'm nice. I don't do things with the intention of being nice, I do it because I want to and if it turns out to be nice then it is what it is. You should never do things just to be nice, do them because you mean them. Don't help an old woman over the road just because it's the nice thing to doand your ego gets a boost. Help her because she looks like she needs help. Thats all. The thing is, if I do something considered nice, that won't make me nice in the same way that if i do something moronic, it won't make me an ass. What I am though, is confusing. Want proof? Re-read that paragraph. Scallywags. (sorry, had to add that to heighten the piratey experience)

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Anyway, enough about me and more about you. I like you :) You're cute, gorgeous actually. If you were here right now I'd probably ask you out. In fact, would you like a date? |'ll wine and dine you. Yes, i really am writing this about you, no-one else, just you. Just what are you doing on here anyway? You know, a girl like you could get a guy no bother. Why subject yourself to the terrible chat of the sleaze's on here? The chat fills a hole in your life, right? Maybe you see the people on here as new friends, people you enjoy talking to and you feel you can be yourself more on here. In real life you are restricted by what you feel other people expect of you. Socially, you like to appear to be the life and soul of the party but deep inside there's a shyness there and a tendency to worry what other people truely think of you. You feel uncomfortable with certain parts of your body, I feel, perhaps even consider yourself ugly, but who are you to decide? Speaking of friends (we were?), you're easy going but find it hard to make new friends, however when you let someone in, you keep them close and are loyal to them. To make it easy for you, be my friend and I'll keep *you* close. (damn thats cheesy)

Hey, don't assume I'm some McLovin type weirdo. My profile is lame/goofy/soppy in places but I can turn up the heat when required, it's just I prefer to be a person first.

Ever listen to Unchained Melody while imagining dancing slowly in your finest clothes with someone you love for the very first or last time? Nope? Oh yeah, ummmmm, me neither.

Are you wearing a non-digital watch? Cover it with your hand. Do it, it's fun. On average we look at our watch every 20 minutes, thats 26000 times a year, so you'd know if it has ordinary numbers, or roman numerals, or just dashes. Wouldn't you? Can you tell without looking? OK look at it and cover it again.

You've just looked at your watch so you know if it's got a second hand or not, surely? And what about this, whats the exact time on the face?

Point is, can you truly see what you're looking at? You can only really see what you are looking to see. Don't just look, observe.

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We should totally try something different. Like this. It's a little game, kinda fun if you have a spare minute. See those cards below? Well, in a moment I'll ask you to pick one. The ace is high and in the middle so you may think I'm forcing you to choose the that. Similarly, there is one black card there so maybe you are being forced to pick that, right? Ok, choose now and remember it. We'll come back to this later.

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You know what phrase is annoying? "I'm a nice guy" I shit you not, I hear that a lot from people and it's always used to counter-balance a negative. "I admit I'm shallow and arrogant**, but really, I'm a nice guy." Truly nice guys never have to say it. Next time you hear it just back away slowly, turn around and run fast in the opposite direction. Run very fast.

**note, this was the little guy in the example that was saying this. Not actually me even though those two words appear in my "about me" section, I'm neither of those. I'm a nice guy.

Oh, you're off. Bye! No, come back! Don't leave me here with these weird people.

Maybe if I lay here, if I just lay here, you could lie with me and we could just forget the world?

Ohhhh, the card thing, nearly forgot. Well if you picked the Nine of Diamonds we should definitely consider getting married. But knowing you,hmmm, yeah, knowing you, you picked the 4 of hearts. Would would you like my heart? Because you can have it if you ask really nicely. Doctors say I have 4 hearts anyway, so you can take one, just in case. If you picked any other card then get the hell off my page. Only joking of course, I value your view greatly. We'll just have to only have sex instead. If you picked the Ace or the Seven then, well, you are just being awkward. Or you are actually insanely clever and called my bluff.

Actually, wanna know something strange? You've just read all of that "about me" section yet you still know very little about me. Alas, stare at my pics now. Don't really. I just added that because i actually just told you my name. Ohhhh clever.

What is love? No idea mate.

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